The lump

I would like to think that all of us have just had scares and nothing more serious. Of course, this can't be true for everyone and unfortunately people are diagnosed with cancer. Before you freak out, I wasn't diagnosed with cancer. I just had a scare.

I was in the shower doing my monthly exam when I found a fairly large lump in my left armpit.

I started freaking out immediatley. My biggest fear is not being able to finish raising Mikey. I don't want to leave him and I know that no one would take as good of care as or love him as much as I do. I felt for the lump over and over and over in the following 24 hours. I kept checking that it was there. I looked for it so often that it started to become sore. I went down to only checking it 50-100 times a day after that.
Natuarally, after my shower I went onto to webmd.com...man, do those people know how to scare you. I waited for Monday to make my appointment. I read that you can have hormonal changes that cause lumps right around the time of your period. I figured that was what it was but went to my appointment just to be sure.
I had to wait a week for my appointment. For me that was worse than finding the actual lump. I would lie awake and let my thoughts and fears get the best of me. What if I do have cancer and what if I die? Who will take care of Mikey? Will he remember me? I will miss out on so much....What if, What if, What if, went on every night until my appointment. I wasn't so worried during the day. I was too busy then. It was at night, right when I wanted to drift off to sleep, that the thoughts would creep in.
I went to my doctor and she said she couldn't feel anything. Talk about relief. She checked and double checked to be sure and told me to keep an eye on it. She figured it was hormonal.
A week later I went back. She felt the lump this time. Lymph node. When I started my period the lump went away about 2 days later.
It's October, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Check yourself or get checked. This way you can be sure you don't have breast cancer...and you can avoid being a total freak like me. Now I can cross off being a good samaritan for the day. See ya.